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Loud Spanish music, passionate albiet drunkenly sloppy kisses in the center of the crowd. I guess I expected to feel a little more, of I don’t know how exactly I learned these.

I’d spend time with someone for a few days, weeks, or months, and sleep with them. I didn’t even have a long term “boyfriend.” I hadn’t met anyone I wanted to commit myself to.But I really could not understand the Church’s stance on pre-martial sex.I was being true to my own healthy and natural desires, which felt wrong to ignore. Around the same time, I realized that I wasn’t being fulfilled in the way I expected, after embracing the sexual freedom I had granted myself.In fact, today, desire differences are a leading reasons why couples consult sex therapists. Perhaps you've heard the old joke: What's foreplay to a man married for 10 years? There are plausible biological reasons why, in general, men would want more sex than women.When desire differences emerge, who wants sex more? Male sex hormones (testosterone in men and a slightly different hormone in women) fuel libido in both genders, and men have much higher levels.

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But sex is only a small part of who we are as sexual beings. Sexuality is much more than body parts and sex (though it includes these things, too). Sexuality includes our gender identity (the core sense that we are female, male, both, neither, or somewhere in between). Sexuality includes gender role (the idea of how we should behave because of our gender identity). Sexuality includes our sexual orientation (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, or other identities). A person with poor body image may not think they deserve a good partner, and so they may be willing to settle for someone who will not respect them or who may even abuse them. Sexuality includes our sexual experiences, thoughts, ideas, and fantasies. Sexuality includes the way in which the media, family, friends, religion, age, life goals, and our self-esteem shape our sexual selves. Sexuality includes how we experience intimacy, touch, love, compassion, joy, and sorrow. We like this quote: “Sexuality is expressed in the way we speak, smile, stand, sit, dress, dance, laugh, and cry.” In short, sexuality is an integral part of who we are, what we believe, what we feel, and how we respond to others.

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