Risks of dating an older man
When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me.Before the Older Man, I’d never been in a relationship with someone of a significantly different age—older or younger—but I had spent my adolescence fantasizing about my teachers bending me over my lab station, so in a way this felt long overdue.In an age-gap relationship, you’re trading in different currencies, but each holds its own value.And while sharing parallel life experiences with someone has its clear comforts, it’s not exactly jerk-off material.I filed both of these under “things you can only appreciate while middle-aged.” But despite the age difference (and his idiosyncrasies) we had some things in common.
When you date someone from a generation that doesn’t remember dial-up, they just fix all of that Internet stuff for you. She also keeps me in the know about who the new cool rapper or cool model is, which I no longer have the energy to figure out by myself.”But then sometimes an age gap can make you feel like you’re from different planets.
He controlled the relationship, at least superficially. We also had different ideas of what qualifies as fun. so we could have the first pick of strawberries at the farmers’ market. But in hindsight, I think we might have just been incompatible.
I quickly learned that constantly feeling like a dependent child can be a real boner-killer. I wanted to take ketamine and lie on the floor in public. He also avoided hanging out with my friends—my theory was that he hated feeling like the old man at the party, while he argued that “going to Brooklyn is embarrassing.” And then there was the issue of energy levels: He would come once, and then pronounce his dick out of commission until tomorrow. Realistically, the proverbial conflict of horse tranquilizers versus fresh produce can happen in any relationship, regardless of age.
If you’re a gay person in your 20s, Ellen was out for your whole life.
If you’re in your 50s, you remember all your friends dying of AIDS.