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There’s only one other woman in this world that a Jewish man will be so supremely devoted to: his mother.Not only did she raise him right, Mom also brought him up to cherish a lady -- chief among them being her. On Shabbat, his mother definitely warned him not to pound the kosher breast meat because that is like cheating on your girlfriend ().The closest they’ve come to throwing a punch is mixing their bottle-service drinks with Kool-Aid.Their Bar Mitzvahs taught them the value of doing good deeds (or “tzedakah" -- see, you’re learning fast! Their small circle taught them the importance of keeping a secret between you two.

After enduring Chris Brown, Rihanna switched to Drake because she knew that Jewish men don’t and can’t fight (unless you consider name-calling and ducking a form of self-defense).Maybe it’s because we’ve been screwed in the past, but Jewish men were always taught to keep an eye on the future.Generally speaking, they value a high-power career (think lawyer, doctor, finance, entrepreneur) and are self-motivated enough to obtain it, if only because they desperately want the bragging rights.They are diligent and dedicated guys whose compassion and patience are rare finds in most men.Marrying a Jewish guy is like winning the lucky sperm lottery, and it pays off in the form of devotion and hard-to-pronounce last names daily.

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