Dating high functioning autism and relationships
If you suspect that your partner is on the spectrum but has no diagnosis, please bear in mind that a professional assessment is essential; there is no online quiz or self-help book that will help you to make that diagnosis on your own. If your partner is hurting you emotionally and you can’t seem to get him or her to understand you when you talk about your pain, as a starting point, consider couples work with a counselor who understands HFA. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by Good
The couples work will be helpful regardless of whether HFA is a factor, and as is frequently the case with couples with whom I work, an assessment becomes part of our work together. The person either has or does not have the diagnosis. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.
Besides, you already know these methods don’t work. You can’t fairly deny the result of hurtful behavior simply because it was not undertaken with a goal of causing harm.
If a tree limb falls on you as you walk through the woods, are you not permitted to acknowledge that your injuries hurt? If you are seeing a counselor, be certain that he or she understands the unique dynamics of being in a relationship in which one partner is on the autism spectrum.
While it may not be the result of conscious disregard, your experience of being lonely and hurt in your relationship is valid.
If your partner is in counseling, or if you are in couples counseling together, it is equally important that your therapist have a specialized understanding of this unique relationship.
There was no intent to abuse, but you are reeling just the same. Do you deny it because you understand it was not inflicted intentionally? These are two time-honored methods used by many of the individuals who come to my office for counseling regarding this aspect of their relationships.
As they mature, they will likely realize that they are wrong for their behavior towards your boyfriend.
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There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
Autism, known clinically as Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD, is also sometimes referred to as Asperger Syndrome or PDD-NOS. Some autistic people face extra challenges in romantic relationships, while others eschew them altogether.